Mommies and Lessons

Ive been challenged by Tessa's questions lately and my quick wit isn't so quick when faced with tough questions about Mommies. I certainly thought I was prepared with 4 years of reading adoption preparation books but clearly not all situations were covered.
Common vocabulary in our house is about birth Mommies and adoptive Mommies (or as I am called happy Mommy), however I was given pause when I was asked about the evil Mommy in Tangled. She is a pretend Mommy, I blurted like a complete fool! I could have kicked myself. Way to come up with that descriptor in a pinch - now you have to work through that conversation for days. "Isn't her 'real' Mommy sad?" uggh, I cringe when I hear the word 'real' followed by Mommy.  Real Mommy is a tough one to explain, but luckily I was actually thinking at this point and didn't botch up that teaching moment.
Lets move on to Cinderella, who has an evil step Mother and mean step sisters. "Will my sister be mean?" Um, maybe? (Love you Aunt TC). We should have stuck with Kung Fu Panda. Oh wait, he doesn't have a Mommy and his Daddy is a duck. Lord give me strength.
My favorite story is the day she was talking about her friend from school. I didn't understand her and frustrated she pointed to her arm and said "My brown friend". Oh, got it...and now I have learned my child does recognize differences in people. I read a book about this too, but I am telling you this stuff comes at you when you are least prepared. Parenthood is so much fun. For the record, Tessa considers herself brown, Daddy is pink and I am yellow. I told her I didn't want to be yellow. She held up her hands and said 'you are'. I better start a new vitamin regiment.
Tessa is still sorting through all this, which is a lot to adsorb as a child. Disney has been no help other than to challenge me. We do have some fabulous books for Tessa that are subtle and touch on adoption. Before we completed our adoption I picked up a few Shaoey and Dot books, but once we came home I put them away. Although the stories are specifically about Chinese adoption I don't care for the theme - abandonment, nor do I care for the artist renditions - cracks and holes in the walls of the orphanage. The endings are all happy, happy but it depicts and early life that makes me sad. Reality or not, they could have been depicted quite differently in my opinion.
My favorite children's book is Little Miss Spider and a Mother for Choco - both are about families of mixed origins and how they came to be. Simple themes which bring about healthy conversations.
My favorite Chinese themed adoption book is Mother Bridge of Love. I got it from a lady who was in my Chinese swap group. I cried they first dozen times I read it, my sister cried when she read it. The poem was anonymously written and talks about two Moms (birth and adopted) and what gifts each of them provide a child. Perfect!