Frustration

I suppose it has something to do with how long we have been doing paperwork. October will mark a year that we started our second adoption journey. Sure some of the setbacks were out of our control, but in reality little of it is in our control.  My husband says we can only count from the time we switched to Ethiopia which is really only a 5 months ago, but my notebook is busting with forms and letters and payment receipts.
We have three pieces of paperwork left in order to send in our dossier. I have no control over the employment letter, that in my first adoption I could walk to the HR office and pick up exchanging pleasantries with its author. Now I am required to file a request by email and wait for a response from a random unknown person and then call to confirm and wait - there is no way for me to show the desperation in my eyes face to face. And then the letters arrive and they are wrong so I start all over again.
I have no control over the paperwork stuck because my dumb error in a late night online request resulted in my background check being hung up due to a notary issue. After 3 people I finally arrived at Al's desk, he was pleasant and helpful pushing it right through to wait on the next person's desk for signature. I'm like a kid, hopeful for the mail each day.
There is no way to control that with each passing day as those last remaining items lag behind our pile of paperwork starts expiring one sheet at a time that I have to slowly replace.
The golden rules are this - don't adopt unless you have strong resolve and lots of patience. The parenting part is the beautiful reward.  Everything leading up to that glorious day is a tedious labyrinth which can break you down when you least expect it.